


What fool; How could I ever fall for you?

by Naji_Dragonchild



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (I mean KINDA), Alternate Universe - Human, Angry Morality | Patton Sanders, Blackmail, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Heartbreak, Janus uses one, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Logic | Logan Sanders, Kidnapping, Lumberjack Morality | Patton Sanders, M/M, Married Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Multi, Post-Divorce, Walking Canes, Why isn't that a tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29616765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naji_Dragonchild/pseuds/Naji_Dragonchild
Summary: Patton didn't regret marrying Janus, even when they divorced. They still had shared custody over their four wonderful children after all.Patton regrets nothing more than marrying Janus, because he has two children, no idea where the other two are and a broken heart that still yearns for the bastard that stole them from him.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 3





	What fool; How could I ever fall for you?

**Author's Note:**

> I promise Janus isn't unsympathetic here. I would have tagged that. He does some bad things but he's not unsympathetic.

They married young.

Patton said his vows, sure that he'd spent the rest of his life with Janus by his side; that they'd grow old and grey together and one day sit in rocking chairs, side by side, looking over a garden where their grandchildren would play.

They finalized the divorce just five years later.

Patton still loved Janus, he really did, but he had to admit that things weren't working. He'd tried to make them work, Janus had too, but they still weren't working, so Janus moved out and they settled on shared custody over the four boys they'd adopted.

For their sake alone Patton had been desperate to figure things out.

Both of them loved the boys, so at least there'd been no fight about them.

Janus was still around most of the time so they could grow up with two parents.

Sometimes Patton and Janus ended up cuddled together on the couch and Patton could pretend that Janus still loved him back as much as he loved him.

It lasted until Logan was five, the twins were just about to turn five and Virgil had just turned four, their little peace.

Somehow even shorter than their marriage.

Patton had brought Logan to the local elementary school to get him enrolled for the coming school year and Roman had begged to come along. He wanted to see the school too, even if he wouldn't go there for another year.

So Janus had taken Remus and Virgil into town to get ice cream and have a little fun. At least that's what he had said.

Because when Patton came back hours later, carrying a tired Roman and leading Logan by the hand, they still weren't back.

He put Roman on the couch for a small nap and Logan sat by the kitchen counter with a piece of paper and a pack of crayons. Patton asked him what he wanted for dinner, but decided to make rice and meatballs when Logan asked for ice cream. Maybe they could have some ice cream for dessert.

"Dad," Logan spoke up and held up his paper after a while. "I drew the frog!"

Patton glanced up and smiled.

"The one we saw on the playground?"

Logan nodded.

"It looks great, kiddo. Want me to put it on the fridge?"

Logan contemplated for a moment, then nodded.

"When are Papa, Remus, and Virgil coming home?" he asked as Patton stuck the drawing next to so many others.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "They should be back soon. Maybe Papa just forgot the time."

Logan nodded and began drawing something else.

Roman woke up just as the food was ready and Patton decided that they'd eat already. He kept glancing at the clock, because it was almost bedtime but Janus still hadn't called, not to mention showing up.  
Patton was getting worried.

He let Logan and Roman watch a cartoon and put them to bed half an hour later, making sure that Logan's star nightlight was on and that Roman had his dragon plushie. 

The crocodile plushie from Remus' bed was gone.

Patton frowned and opened the closet.

Dread pooled in his stomach. 

Shirts, trousers, underwear, and socks were gone. Remus' and Virgil's and even a handful of Roman's.

He hurried downstairs and speed-dialed Janus.

An automated voice told him that the number had been disconnected.

Patton tried again.

Same message.

He called Janus' neighbour. 

She picked up on the fifth ring.

"Hello? Meier here," she greeted.

"Hi, this is Patton-"

"Oh, Pat, how nice to hear from you again!" 

"Yeah, I wanted to ask, have you seen Janus today? Or in the last hours?" 

"Janus? No. I haven't seen him since he moved the last boxes out. Why?"

"Boxes?" Patton repeated.

"Yeah, the moving boxes. Why are you asking? Is something wrong?"

"Janus moved out?" Patton tried to keep the fear out of his voice. 

Janus hadn't told him about that. And now his kids were gone. He couldn't reach Janus. He didn't know where they were-

"Yes, he did. I thought you two were moving in together again?"

"No," Patton shook his head and tried to wrangle down the panic. 

They were fine. Maybe Janus had taken them to his new apartment and Virgil had fallen asleep and he hadn't wanted to wake him up.  
Maybe Remus had asked to sleep over.  
Maybe he just hadn't managed to set up his phone yet.

Maybe he'd crashed the car.

Patton shook his head.

"I'm sorry but I have to go now. See you," he quickly ended the call.

None of his explanations explained the missing items.

He tried to ignore that.

Instead he poured himself some wine - he wouldn't drink much, just enough to numb the fear a little - and sat down in the living room.

Around noon the next day he called the police.

From there all he could do was try to comfort Roman and Logan and wait.

Logan started school and buried himself in learning the alphabet and addition with enthusiasm and curiosity. A few times teachers scolded him for knowing things he wasn't supposed to know yet, which was stupid in Patton's opinion. 

Roman started school a year later excited but smiling in that way he did when he missed Remus and didn't want anyone to see. It broke Patton's heart. Roman collected friends quickly and seemed to have met someone new every day, and the first time he punched someone for insulting his friend, Patton couldn't quite manage to be angry.

Before he knew it Logan was in middle school and then Roman was too.

Patton started going to PTA meetings whenever work allowed it. 

Logan enrolled in high school and even though it had been coming it caught Patton off guard. His babies were growing up. 

(He wondered if his other children were.)

Roman had discovered the world of musical theatre sometime during middle school and as soon as he was in high school threw himself into it.

\---

Patton put on a pot of coffee and began making toast and scrambled eggs while he waited for it to be ready. 

After the first cup he felt a little more alive and heard Logan come downstairs.

"Good morning, dad," he went straight for the coffee and filled his Star Trek mug to the brim. 

"Morning, kiddo. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I just had to finish an assignment last night. Stayed up longer than usual," Logan took a sip.

"Oh, I see. Do you know if Roman's awake yet?" Patton plated the eggs and handed Logan a plate.

"I don't know- Thanks. I heard his alarm go off but doesn't mean much."

"I'll go make sure he's up then," Patton ruffled Logan's hair in passing, ignoring the halfhearted protest.

He went upstairs and down the hallway, past his own room, the bathroom, and Logan's room, to Roman's at the very end.

There were no other rooms in this house. No rooms haunted by ghosts made of memories.

He knocked on Roman's door and waited for a sound.

"Roman?"

A groan.

"I made breakfast."

" 'm coming," Roman's voice sounded muffled.

"Okay, kiddo."

He heard a small thumb as Roman forced himself out of bed and headed back downstairs.

Logan was almost done with his first coffee by the time Roman actually showed up.

They left the house together and Patton followed them out just twenty minutes later to make it to his shift in time.

The familiar smell of wood and resin greeted him as he got out of the car and went over to the building.

"Morning, Pat," Henry greeted, turning off the power saw for a moment. Patton knew better than to think it was so they could talk. Henry was just stalling to avoid work.

"Good morning," Patton waved in passing.

It was a fresh morning, the sun shone warmly and a cool breeze carried through the air, making it near-perfect weather to work. On the summer days that already began with unbearable heat, they sometimes had to lay down work over noon to avoid heat strokes.

But on days like this, where even at noon it was pleasantly cool, he enjoyed his job all the more.

When he got home, later that afternoon, Logan was sitting at the living room table working on some assignment.

"Hi, dad," he greeted without looking up. 

"Hey kiddo! How was your day?" Patton stopped by the stairs. He had to go take a shower and get ready for the PTA meeting later but that could wait a bit.

"It was alright," Logan leaned back in his chair. "I got my essay back. The one about poverty."

"Oh, what did you get?"

"96," a smile tugged at Logan's lips as he said it.

"That's amazing!" Patton moved to hug him before remembering that he was still sweaty and covered in wood chips. "I'm so happy for you!"

Logan's smile widened.

"I missed a few errors so I lost some points," he said.

"But you still got 96!" Patton ruffled his hair. "Are you proud?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You should be," Patton told him.

Logan struggled to contain his grin.

"You have a meeting today, right?" he asked, changing the topic. 

"Yeah, I do. I'll just go shower. It shouldn't be too long, so I can cook us something afterward."

Logan nodded in acknowledgment and Patton went upstairs to his bedroom and then the bathroom.  
He passed Roman's room and smiled at the faint musical soundtrack he could hear. He didn't recognize it by name but Roman had been listening to it a lot lately.

In the bathroom he put his fresh clothes on the sink counter and got undressed.

He waited until the water was warm before he stepped under and let it wash over him for a moment before he grabbed his soap.

Once he was clean and dressed he checked in on Roman before having to leave.

He had to stop after one red light after the other and when he finally reached the school parking lot, he was already late.

He sighed and got out.

The sun was slowly going down but it was still warm enough to only wear a thin jacket.

The door opened and Ava, one of the mums came out.

She noticed Patton and shot him a wide smile.

"Oh, hey! I was wondering if you were coming," she greeted and headed towards her car. 

"Lots of red lights," Patton explained. 

"I see," she nodded. "I forgot the cookies I made," she said as she opened the trunk and took out a big Tupperware box. "There's a new guy today. Just moved here."

"Really?" Patton asked, holding open the school door for Ava. There were few men who actually came. And while Patton liked the mums, he didn't get to talk much to any dads.

"Yeah. I think he said his name was... Janus? Or something like that? You can ask him yourself and I'll try to remember," she chuckled.

"Janus?" Patton froze.

"Yeah, I think that was it-"

Patton didn't wait for her to finish before he was running down the hallway. He ripped open the door to the PTA room.

In a crowd of mums, an easy, charming smile on his face, stood Janus.

He was leaning on a cane and his hair was longer, pulled back in a ponytail, but it was still Janus. It was still the man Patton had married.  
Still the man who had stolen his children.

Rage flammed up in Patton's stomach, rising to his head and before he knew what he was doing he was across the room and grabbed Janus by the collar.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here?" he heard himself yell. "Where were you? Where the fuck were you?!"

Janus stared at him in shock and so where probably everybody else but Patton couldn't bring himself to care.

"And what the hell did you do with my children?!"

"I-" Janus tried but Patton didn't let him talk.

Later he wasn't sure what he said - or rather yelled. He just knew that his throat was sore and the fire burned down by the time he stopped.

He loosened his grip on Janus' shirt.

"I-" Janus seemed to still be trying to regain his composure. "I did not kidnap anyone," he finally said, his voice firm. "They are my children too."

"You took them and disappeared from the face of the earth," Patton hissed. "Without a word."

"Er..." a teacher hesitantly spoke up. "Perhaps we should reschedule this meeting."

He looked extremely uncomfortable and Patton felt just a little bad for not taking Janus outside.

Mums scurried around picking up their stuff, all eager to leave. Patton glanced at the clock. 

Oh damn.

How long had he spent yelling?

"If you'll excuse me," Janus pulled out of Patton's grip," I have to go make sure _my sons_ eat a proper meal."

He supported himself on his cane, going back to a table and grabbing a bag.

Patton recognised that expression. Janus was trying to keep his emotions in check behind a carefully constructed mask.

"Wait," Patton said harshly. The anger was beginning to drain him, replaced by exhaustion but he didn't want Janus to see that. "Give me your number. We will finish this conversation."

Janus hesitated before pulling out a scrap of paper, scribbling down a row of digits, and handing it to him.

"Good evening," he said before finally leaving.

Patton watched him go and deflated.

Around him the room was clearing out.

After a while Ava came up to him.

"Are you... okay?" she asked. There was concern in her eyes and she put a soothing hand on his shoulders.

"I will be," Patton forced a smile. "I should get going now. The boys are waiting for me for dinner."

"Send them my best," Ava smiled encuragingly.

"Will do. Greet your kids from me too."

Once back in his car Patton sighed, slumping against the steering wheel.

He pulled out the paper with Janus' number and stared at the digits until they burned themselves into his mind eye.

Determination kindled in his stomach and lit up suddenly.

He jammed the key in and pulled out, driving home just a bit faster than allowed.

He got out, marched up to the house, and unlocked the door.

"Boys, we're not eating home today!" he announced loudly.

"What?" Roman's voice came from upstairs and he came down halfway.

Logan looked up from his laptop equally confused.

"We're having dinner at your Papa's place," Patton said simply with a grimace of a smile. "Turns out he's back in town."

"What?!" Logan dropped his book.

"I'll explain in the car, I promise," Patton said and pulled out his phone. "Go get your jackets."

He typed in Janus number and waited.

"Mr. Jackson. Who is this?"

"Since when is your name 'Jackson'? Nevermind. What's your address? We're having dinner with you."

"What, you're just inviting yourself into my house?" Janus hissed.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. I want to see my children. Now, where do you live? If you're not going to tell me I can just ask one of the school secretaries. We _will_ eat at your place."

For a moment the line stayed silent. Just as Patton was beginning to think Janus had hung up on him, he grumbled out an address.

"See you then," Patton chirped and hung up.

He led Logan and Roman to the car and started it again.

He knew the town well enough to not need a GPS and instead explained how he'd met Janus, as he'd promised.

"I'm going to see Remus again," Roman whispered as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"Yes, kiddo," Patton smiled at him through the rear mirror. "You will."

He turned into the street and slowed down a little in order to read the house numbers until he spotted the right one.

A black old-looking car was parked in the driveway, in one of the windows hung Halloween-themed fairy lights, and in another a pride flag that Patton didn't recognize. He knew he'd seen it before, he just couldn't recall what it stood for.

Either Janus had discovered something about himself or one of the boys - kids? - kids was queer. 

Patton parked in the nearest free spot and led his boys to the building.

The name 'Jackson' was written on the doorbell in careful black cursive and even through the door, Patton heard it chime. 

For a moment they waited, then the door opened.

The teen on the other side of the door was dressed in a green sweater, that was covered in holes and bleached in some spots, shorts that looked like they'd been made into shorts by a wild animal, and fishnet tights. His hair was a mess that with a lot of goodwill could be called a mullet with a grey streak. He had the uneven beginnings of a handlebar moustache over his chapped upper lip.

"Sorry we don't do Jesus," he piped up after a moment of silence. "Vacuums can come in but won't be paid for."

"Remus?" Roman asked quietly.

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

So Janus still hadn't told-

"Didn't you recognize me? I'm disappointed in you, brother dearest," Remus continued, rolling his r's dramatically at the nickname.

Roman moved past Patton and enveloped Remus in a tight hug.

"Ugh, you're breaking my ribs!" Remus groaned but hugged back just as tightly.

Patton's heart ached.

How could Janus have done this to them? How could he tear the twins apart like this?

It took a few minutes until they separated again.

Roman looked away and up, like he did when he was struggling not to cry.

"Can- May I hug you?" Logan asked, nervously adjusting his glasses. He was just barely holding his emotions back.

Remus grinned and opened his arms.

Their hug didn't last as long before Logan awkwardly pulled away.

Remus looked at Patton for a long moment, turned around and pushed the door opened all the way to let them in.

"Pops!" he called. "They're here!"

Remus waited for them to take off their shoes and jackets before leading them into a small living room.  
It was the room with the Halloween fairy lights, Patton noted. 

It was nicely furnished, with a certain old-timey charm and Halloween elements here and there.

From the kitchen Patton could hear oil sizzling and quiet voices.


End file.
